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Caring Advice

Our Caring Advice section offers gentle, practical guidance to support you and your family through the difficult days following a loss. Here, you will find compassionate insights on everything from planning a meaningful tribute to navigating grief and handling important next steps at your own pace.

Next of Kin

Under Hawaii Revised Statutes § 531B-4, if the deceased left no written instructions or designated agent, the right to control the disposition of the remains falls to the following people in order of priority: 

  • Designated Agent: A person chosen by the decedent in a written instrument or testamentary disposition.

  • Spouse or Partner: The surviving spouse, civil union partner, or reciprocal beneficiary.

  • Children: The sole surviving child, or a majority of the surviving children.

  • Parents: The surviving parent or parents.

  • Siblings: (Following next degrees of family).

  • Grandchildren: The surviving grandchild or majority of surviving grandchildren.

  • Appointed Guardian or Personal Representative: The court-appointed guardian or the estate's personal representative.

  • Next of Kin: Other relatives in descending order of kinship. [1]

Dressing Love One

When choosing an outfit for a loved one, the goal is to honor their personality and provide a comforting final memory for family and friends. 

  • Personal style and familiarity. Choose a favorite outfit, formal wear, or clothing that reflects how they lived, such as a tailored suit, a modest dress, or a favorite pressed button-down shirt. 

  • Coverage and fit. Select garments with long sleeves and a higher neckline, as these look natural in a casket and help cover any marks from medical care or embalming. Consider choosing a size slightly larger than usual, as clothing fits differently when someone is lying down.

  • Practical materials. Avoid fragile fabrics like thin silk that may not hold up well during preparation. If cremation will follow the viewing, avoid clothing or accessories with metal components like heavy zippers, belts, or underwires, or ask the funeral director to remove them beforehand. 

  • Undergarments and accessories. Provide full undergarments, socks or hosiery, and any meaningful jewelry, glasses, or pins. Let the funeral director know whether sentimental items should remain with your loved one or be returned before burial or cremation. 

Transport of Cremains: U.S.

Transporting Cremains Within the U.S.

When traveling domestically by air or mail, federal agencies enforce specific screening and packaging rules.

  • Airline travel (TSA guidelines). You may bring cremains in either carry-on or checked luggage, though airlines strongly recommend keeping them in your carry-on. The urn must pass through the X-ray machine, so choose a lightweight, X-ray-friendly container made of wood, plastic, or cardboard rather than thick metal, stone, or ceramic that blocks the scan.

  • Required domestic paperwork. Always carry the certificate of cremation and a certified copy of the death certificate to present to TSA officers or airline staff if requested.

  • Shipping via mail. Only the United States Postal Service (USPS) ships cremated remains domestically. You must use Priority Mail Express, place the cremains in a sift-proof inner container inside a sturdy outer box with cushioning, and apply the official USPS Cremated Remains label (Label 139).​

Transport of Cremains: International & Territories

Transporting Cremains Internationally

Taking cremains into or out of the United States involves customs clearance, health regulations, and strict diplomatic rules that vary widely by country.

  • Consulate or embassy approval. Most foreign governments require you to obtain advance authorization from their consulate or embassy before entering the country with cremains. Consular officials typically review your documents, apply an official seal or stamp, and issue an import permit or letter of clearance.

  • Core international documentation. Expect to gather a certified death certificate, a certificate of cremation, a transit or burial permit, and a signed statement from the funeral home confirming the container holds only cremated remains. Many countries also require these documents to be officially translated into the local language and authenticated with an Apostille from the Secretary of State.

  • Airline and customs rules. Notify your airline ahead of time, as some international carriers forbid cremains in checked baggage or require specific advance forms. Upon arrival, you must declare the cremains to customs officials and present your consular paperwork.

  • Shipping internationally. USPS permits international shipping of cremains to select countries using Priority Mail Express International, provided the destination country allows it and all customs and consular forms are attached.

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